Edit - Sharing how it looked in the 5 phases together from sketch to finish here - [link]
Drawing requested by ~ShiningLorenzo like . . . 3 months ago ><; Criteria : Fan-art for Rainbow Factory/Awoken - Glaze, Joe and H8 Seed in White Jumpsuits, H8 Seed showing regret while the other two still showing a dark expression.
Sketch from 2 months ago - Revised Sketch from half a month ago -
As can be seen, I changed a lot of stuff between the two sketches, and ugh, I hate how it's been 3 months, but even I gotta admit this drawing wouldn't have been at this quality had I finished it earlier. I learned a lot over these 3 months after all from cleaner lines, coloring/shading/lighting adjustments, filters, perspective and more.
It's probably impossible to tell, but the color of the 'POV Pony' is light purple.
My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic series belongs to Hasbro
v Would love a critique! Make sure to note however - The 'vision' is how well I portrayed the criteria of the request. The 'originality' is not based on being completely original with characters or ideas, but rather how the image is portrayed. No comments about OC designs/colors as they are not mine, have been requested in the critiera, and are not my decision to change.
If you can't find any flaws you could constructively note, just comment instead. v
Awoken. Now for critique... I'm going to guess that you based this off of the PMV by Brony Dance Party. I can see some familiarity in both this and the video, such as colour and background. That said, the vision is clear, another pony being submitted into the Rainbow Factory, with Glaze and Joe looming over it. The expressions and POV's do wonders for this piece, with the view being dynamic and the expressions on Dance and Glaze being... Well, terrifying The colouring and shading on this is quite good, it does add a lot more depth. I do like how you have Glaze and Dance standing in the shadows, while H8 is illuminated in the light of the spectra. Perhaps a nod at this epiphany? Impact overall: Quite dynamic, a very interesting POV, good expressions, and some really good shading and colouring. If anything can be improved on however, it would have to be the background, it lacks the detail that the rest of this picture carries. That aside, great piece
*it is the Rainbow Factory, or more specifically, a computer screen in the Rainbow Factory that H8-Seed escaped from (headcanon: Rainbow Dash isn't head of this one). As the symbol known to inspire fear to its victims blares out to passers-by, it flickers momentarily... to the symbol of TFIndustries, know to supply Mann Co. in the TF2 Universe. The scene then changes to a prison cell, where the RED Soldier is held captive. After killing the cell's guard with his fists, he grabs his shovel from its corpse and proceeds to break out of his cell before destroying a machine nearby with his rocket launcher and freeing the RED Pyro, all while the music to Awoken plays in the background. Then, the Soldier begins to sing...* What cause have I to feel glad? I've built my life on judgement and causing pain. *as Pyro exits the alarm is sounded and the workers begin to move towards the escapees* *muffled, but legible* I don't know those eyes I see in the bloodstain'd chrome. *a worker tries to kill Pyro before suddenly he falls from a headshot, and the camera pans to RED Sniper and RED Engineer, who had both managed to escape shortly after Pyro and Soldier* Now everything that I've had and everything I've known have been thrown away, *as Engineer sings, his Sentry turret detects somepony trying to ambush them and stars firing and launching rockets* and with time I've come to find this isn't my home. *said rockets then destroy the cell doors of RED Spy, who proceeds to exit his place of imprisonment*
I-I-I've stoked the fire; seen more pain than you can know, the tears of the broken have washed away my soul. *Spy then destroys the cell door of RED Demoman with his Sapper, who also proceeds to exit his place of imprisonment* Pushed by desire to change the way my stream will flow, now I'm awoken and I'm taking back control! I've tried my best to block out the screams, but they're haunting me in my dreams, *as Demoman sings, he destroys the cell doors of RED Medic and RED Heavy with his grenade launcher* please break my shackles, I want it to stop!
*Medic then proceeds to kill multiple factory workers with his Needler and Bonesaw* All I can say about zis next procedure is zat it vill be EXCRUCIATING! *as he continues on this killing spree he's caught in a stranglehold by a larger, stronger worker and begins to sing*
I run zhese wretched machines, day in, day out, ze grinding vears on my brain, undermining my sanity, making me qvestion my reality; *as the Medic sings his part and as the worker tightens his hold, two fingers come up to his skull, and with a reverberating "POW!" RED Heavy kills the worker with his finger gun* but life is not as it seems--should I take a chance at freedom and throw it all down the drain? *the camera cuts to RED Scout, who is still in his prison cell* I'VE BEEN IMPRISONED! PLEASE BURN MY TRANSGRESSIONS AWAY! *Medic then proceeds to free Scout by using his bonesaw to cut through the lock holding him in place*
*the camera then cuts to Spy* I-I-I've stoked the fire; seen more pain than you can know, the tears of the broken have washed away my soul. *and then it cuts to Demoman* Pushed by desire to change the way my stream will flow, now I'm awoken and I'm taking back control! *RED Team begins to line up to take on the rush of workers coming at them* I've tried my best to block out the screams, but they're haunting me in my dreams, *the workers charge... and RED Team sets up for battle* please break my shackles, I want it to stop!
*the Team then begins to absolutely rout the workers, Heavy pumping out the ammo while Medic heals him with his Medigun, Scout bonking enemies with the Sandman, Soldier blowing them apart with his rocket launcher, Pyro lighting them up, Demoman plunking grenades at them, Engineer using his Sentry and Dispenser combo to set up a base, Sniper headshotting the enemy with his sniper rifle, and Spy freeing the other prisoners* GO! YOU'RE FREE! HURRY!
*the Team and the other prisoners proceed to move to the exit, where the head of the Factory (BronyDanceParty) is waiting for them* I've stoked the fire; seen more pain than you can know, the tears of the broken have washed away my soul. *everyone gasps, thinking that they'll not be able to escape* Pushed by desire to change the way my stream will flow, now I'm awoken and I'm taking back control! *but as things look bleak for them, a bat comes up behind BronyDanceParty, and comes down on his head, a familiar voice shouting, "BONK!"* I'm sick of hurting, *a shovel then blunts Dance* and sick of thinking it's all I do, *a fire axe then cuts into Dance's shoulder* I break those around me, *Dance is then cut by a broken bottle's shards* those spared are very few. *and then Golden Harvest punches Dance* But the *after that, a wrench cracks down on Dance's skull* bright sun is burning, *then a Kukri stabs Dance's side* and my sky shines ever blue, *a bonesaw then cuts into Dance's crotch* friendship surround me! *Dance is then laid down while Rarity comes up behind him, butterfly knife in hoof* I'm becoming a part of you! *backstabs Dance, killing him instantly as the others make their escape and Spy saps the Factory's main reactor* I've tried my best to block out the screams, but they're haunting me in my dreams, *Spy escapes and the camera pans to Demoman, who had escaped with the rest of RED earlier* please break my shackles, I want it to stop! *as the group consisting of RED and the prisoners make a mad dash away from the factory, the Sapper does its deadly work and finally, after a few belated seconds, it explodes, finally ending years of terror imposed on the people of Equestria... but at what cost?*
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